Saying good bye or leaving isn't my thing since the day I can remember. Even the day my late grandfather send me back home to my parents I was crying like no end. Saying good bye to the place that I fall in love just got me the same effect as I leaving my family for the 2nd time. The last time I checked it was almost 10 years ago I feel this sad. It was the day I left home for study. Now, I'm leaving my 2nd family for good cause, but I don't know why it's felt so bad to leave. Second day being away from the place I call "home sweet home" makes me waking up with jolt and disoriented because my body's clock still sticking with my working shift. Its just the sad feeling come along with me until now. I wasn't aware I could fall in love with this job, this place, this environment and the peoples of course. The first day I step in Magnum Kuala Lumpur, my purpose was to earn because I have sick father at
home, I got 22k study loan to pay and I got my mother's dream to build the new house for our family. I'm not complaining that I got to do all these but I feel hopeless because I don't know where to start or what happened to me next. To think how I got to stand today alone on my own feet sort of make me said 'unbelieveable' i mean on my own term of life not comparing with others. The thought of I'm running out of time to do all these makes me desperate to earn more.








My Magnum family taught me a lot, from zero to who I am today. I wasn't Diana you know today if I didn't become part of this family. I don't even know how to set a table for customers, I don't even know how to hold a tray full with glasses until I spilled water around, thanks to Ms.Mae for letting me worked on floor section for 2 weeks. I can't deny it was awful at first, then I enjoyed it. I don't know types of spoons until they told me about it.Those experience such a big new world to me. I still remember I had the rough 1st day at Magnum..haha.. 8am till 11pm shift. I was so mad and I was wondering how the managers and the staffs could handle this tiredness. As day goes by, I got it, the tiredness is nothing when you got peoples around you that can always makes you smiles. I'm so used to live alone but being here is just such a beautiful moment because I can finally stop saying "alone". I don't deny it, I caused lots of trouble, I do mistakes etc, but I'm thankful with everyone around me, they helped me a lot. The precious thing I've learned in here is to be patient. I'm not a patient person, I used to have bad temper and when it comes to arguing its gonna be a mess, but being here taught me to be patient and I'm surprised that I could be this patient.














I'm writing this on my personal blog because this experience was one of the most beautiful experience for me so far. Maybe my point of view is different with others but that how its work in this life. Every person has their own POV and their own story. I don't easily get excited to something, but when I do its gonna be a lifetime moment. Magnum's Family was one of the moment that makes me excited every time I'm thinking about it. I have issues with trusting peoples but Magnum changed me. I used to be pessimist but slowly I'm trying to move on and being an optimist. Meeting beautiful person like them was a moment that I want to remember and treasure for the rest of my life. Despite the religion, race, color, language barrier we are able to communicate and working together without failed. I don't feel like I was a stranger among them and I don't feel any difference around them. The best thing that I can say in here is, they make me smile. Why?... Because I always wish I could smile or giggle sometimes because I wasn't one before. Magnum make me feel like I was born again for better purpose in life. This is why I told them, I'm the one that thankful for this family and experience. I hope I could always smile like I was in Magnum forever. Now, I'm not there anymore. I have to continue my journey. I still have a very long journey to go through. Yes, my heart heavy like I can't handle anymore whenever I think about leaving this family, but sometimes we need to sacrifice something that we like or love to please others. In my case, I have a big responsibility to carry on my shoulder. I didn't leave for my own pleasure. Like I always said, life is a one way road, you can't go back to pick up something you left behind but you can always grab all the things that coming toward you. At the end of the day, those moments going to be your life partner and something you can treasure as long as you still breathing. Thank you Magnum Family. Till we meet again. I wish all the best to all of you. Thank you for letting me stay for awhile. To the managers, you guys rock. Partner in crime Ms.Mae, I'll be your doraemon forever :) . Love, Diana.





P/S: That's my partner in crime :)





Posted by DeexWhy
,

\ Oblivion \

카테고리 없음 2014. 7. 3. 18:30

Oblivion; unaware or unconscious of what is happening around one. Yeah that's my fear for now. Not because I'm drown into "The Fault in Our Stars" book but this is it, the feeling or situation that yourself can't even explain in a simple word. I myself, always think of something ridiculous or magic gonna happen to my life but I guess I need to wait or in my case I need to struggle. The oblivion i'm talking about is about myself, I live in a place where I'm all alone by myself and I guess that's my fault for not having many friends. There's the time I need someone to talk or shoulder to cry on. I always feel numb on my own feeling and I feel like my whole world empty and I dont know what's happening on that moment. You know that every person always have the one day, where everything isn't right no matter what you do. I had that moment quite a lot but I can't do anything about it. I worried sick what's gonna happen to my family and myself of course. I only have parents and a sister yet I couldnt do anything for them. That little thing really bother me so much. As much as I can't breathe when I cry so hard, that's how I feel. 


I'm afraid I don't have much time, either one of us gonna go someday, yeah that's reality which I refuse to talk about. Maybe myself or maybe them. As much as I want to make them feel happy, I have no strength to stand again and do something. I'm getting older so they are and getting hurt by others is one of the matters that make me feel so small. I only have God to talk with and only to Him I cry myself out loud. Sometimes I feel ashamed, asking for more from Him while I'm just a useless human being. At some point, I'd rather let myself being hurt by others instead of knowing my parents being hurt. I don't mind peoples talking bad about me because I know I'm not a good person but I want to be a good child to my parents. I couldnt do much in this life I guess. Its not like i'm giving up, but sometimes when you're hanging with one hand to survive, you need to sacrifice yourself so that others would safe and sound. I will not giving up for my family, not even having a second thought. I believe everyone want their own life pleasure, so do I, but since I was small I have this one goal which is, giving my parents what they dont have. I'm not going to blame anyone especially parents but I do blame myself for this whole thing. Dear myself, there will always a way and for now I want to believe in magic that exist in this world and of course God's power. Hang in there dear little heart, hurting yourself can be more worthy than let the peoples you love hurts by others.








Posted by DeexWhy
,

That one day ..there will always a day that gonna make you wanna cry out loud and not to say anything to anyone. I've been there few times and whenever I felt that way, I wouldn't able to think straight. This time I feel numb. Totally outrages and I have no vision what is gonna come to me next. I wish magic is exist for this moment so that everyone can be happy.


"When all that you've tried, leaves nothing but holes inside"



Posted by DeexWhy
,